Crazy Things People Say to Pregnant Women

I have heard from pregnant women before, 'You won't believe what people say to you or how complete strangers will come up to you in the supermarket and touch your belly without asking.'


I of course, decided that when I got pregnant, I would speak up to these people and politely say, 'Please don't put your hand on me without asking.' I mean, why is it okay to put your hand on a strangers belly? What if I were just fat? Would they put their hand on my stomach then? Do strangers approach me and put their hand on my butt? No.


To date, I have not had any strangers put their hand on my belly. Perhaps that is because I am not clearly showing. But I do have one coworker who feels he is able to touch my belly any time he wants to. I have aggressively and angrily pushed/thrown his arm off of me after he did this. It was not as polite as I would have imagined by asking nicely 'Please do not put your hand on me without asking.' But I couldn't help myself. I felt so uncomfortable. As I am not even out of my first trimester, my uterus is only the size of a grapefruit. And to be nice, my stomach is not that small. I had a little gut to begin with, plus the grapfruit, plus some carbs to curb my nauseau and there is my current bump. Although it is extremely exciting that I am pregnant, I'd say my bump is only 20% baby, and that is under my skin, flesh and fat. So when someone touches my belly at this point, they are simply touching my fat. Again I ask, Would they put their hand on my stomach if I were fat? No. But that is what this coworker has continued to do. I have since made sure that I am carrying something at stomach level, a coat over my arm or a purse to block my belly from being touched.


Being pregnant, and so early pregnant, I thought I would be immune to such belling touching and inappropriate comments. I was wrong. Apparently being pregnant means anyone and everyone can give you unsolicited advice. I might as well wear a shirt that says 'I'm pregnant. Please approach me, touch my belly and/or provide me with unsolicited advice and/or scary pregnant stories.' It is truly unbelievable. It actually makes me wonder how many times I have said inappropriate things to others. I do remember being in sixth grade and constantly telling my family things they didn't want to hear but starting or ending the statement with 'No offense.' As if 'no offense' excused the horrible comment I had just said. Like, 'No offense but that dress makes you look fat.' Or 'I just don't like you, no offense.' That was my mind when I was 12. I truly hope that I have outgrown that and no longer tell people inappropriate things. What is that saying? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.


Here are some things that people have said to me in the less than 13 weeks I have been pregnant:

1. I saw you on Wednesday and thought you might be pregnant. Yeah, I came in, saw your stomach and thought to myself, 'she's definitely pregnant.' But I didn't want to say anything just in case.

2. I have had 8 miscarriages between 6 and 11 weeks.

3. I saw you at Target and saw your bump and you are definitely pregnant! I didn't start showing until the end of my second trimester.

Note from Kate on #3: Screw you lady. We are not all stick thin with the metabolism of a gazelle.

4. My friend had an awful labor. So long and painful. And she really tore.

5. You're pregnant? Oh, I just thought you were putting on weight.

6. You're going to take a nap?!?!?!?!? You just woke up!

Note from Kate on #6: Screw you man. You try building a brain, a heart, lungs and a full body. Then talk to me about if it's okay to take a nap.

7. You should really do pilates. I read that it can really help with labor. You should really make sure that you're keeping active. Do you want the number to my gym? (Advice given by a man whose wife has never been pregnant and after reading an article on keeping active during pregnancy.)

8. Chocolate? You don't really need to be eating that.

Note from Kate on #8: You must be kidding right? I'm pregnant!

9. Do you know what night it happened?

10. Waiting for the next inappropriate comment to take this slot. Will it be your comment?


As most of you know, I do not like being told what to do. But I especially do not like being told what to do if I do not invite some sort of opinion from the other person. It's who I am. But, I believe 9 months of hearing such things will probably help me to improve. There has to be good out of all of these crazy comments, right?


Sincerely,

The fat, tired, chocolate eating pregnant Kate:)